NoBlog Number 2 - In Which Jim Lovetoy Visits the Green Fields of Glastonbury
6th August 2009
Media personality Jim Lovetoy writes exclusively for The Football Ramble. “This is no blog, it’s a column. It’s credible. Proper journalism that has an influence...”
Football is lucky enough to have an off season, but be it winter, spring, summer, autumn or the second winter at the end it’s a season all year long for me. However there’s not much that’s happened this summer to distinguish it from any other: Fedora won Wimbledon, Real Madrid spent silly money on big summer transfers and Big Brother is on. I can’t believe that vapid, know-nothing chancers like that are still on TV. It’s frankly past its sell by date. No such tedium for me though, even now I’m still recovering from my adventures at Glasto! I got up at 11am especially to get my PA to get me free tickets because I wanted to see Blur and it was non-stop from then on. For those of you too young to know, Blur invented indie music with their debut album Park Life and Glasto - short for Glastonbury – is a place where top, top bands play indie music. It’d been about a year since I went to Glasto and I’d forgotten what the living conditions are like. The bed and breakfast I was in was charming enough but cost an absolute fortune. Despite this it soon proved worth it when the rain started to fall and I hunkered down. My mates kept trying to ring me but I knew what they wanted, there was no way they were sharing my cosy room. Imagine lugging a tent all the way to Glasto just for the first day to be called off because of rain! Mugs.
The next day the sun had put his hat on (metaphorically speaking, the sun would burn through a hat) and I headed out to catch some indie music. Glastonbury has changed recently, with Jay DMC headlining last year. Noel Gallagher criticised this approach and I have to agree with him, I’ve supported Oasis since as long as I can remember and indie music is what Glasto is really about. Being a veteran I felt I needed to make it clear that I was experienced here - to help those having their first festival experience as much as anything else - so I bought a Jesters’ hat. It looked really silly, not the sort of thing you’d wear anywhere else in the world but that’s Glasto! As the festival went on there were rumours that Michael Jackson had died and a lot of shouting about Ian McShane being a wanker. I figured he’d had some Leslie Grantham style indiscretion. I checked my iPhone and MJ had indeed passed away but Ian McShane hadn’t done anything noteworthy. You get a lot of idiots at festivals, at times I felt like the only person who had the slightest idea of what was going on.
Backstage I got chatting to Damian Albarn from Blur about Chelsea. He’s a fellow supporter and clearly has a knowledge of the game because he completely agreed with my point that while at the Bridge Claude Makélélé was really underrated. You see although he’s a midfielder he’s a defensive midfielder so doesn’t get the plaudits other players get, but you need those players in your side to get the ball off the other team. Only someone with an in depth knowledge of the game would understand insight like that and I was impressed.
So on, of course, to our beloved national sport. One of the biggest stories is that of Michael Owen’s move to Manchester United. You can’t exactly blame him, you’d move there if your old team got relegated into the Sunday leagues. I’m not talking Super Sunday either, there’s no glamour there and frankly Sunday is the best day for it. Nothing but Songs of Praise, phone calls from your parents and games involving lower league teams like Leeds United or Nottingham Forest that have never achieved anything. Unless Chelsea are on Sky I’ll sleep through thanks. Owen has started well, scoring twice on United’s money-spinning Far Eastern tour. I’ve been on a few Far Eastern tours myself. The Premier League is so massive out there that it even helps their economy and so did I. There’s no way Owen scored as often as I did! Obviously from my association with the game I’m a house, well, huthold name out there but the people are so respectful that I wasn’t bothered for an autograph even once.
In other strange transfer news Jermaine Pennant has gone to Real Zaragoza and I’ll bet my George Foreman grill he’ll regret it. Nothing to eat but Pie Ella, a rubbish league and dodgy teams. I say dodgy teams because any club that have to insist on their legitimacy in their own name must be hiding something. See also Madrid, Real. There are only two good teams in the league, the other 18 places could go to anyone. Rubbish!
Lastly, Man City have been throwing cash at any old mercenary they can. It’s completely distorted the transfer market and made them look like Johnny-come-lately fools. They could learn a few things about dignity from my beloved Blues. Until next time. Chelsea, Chelsea!
Jim Lovetoy
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